If anyone wants to see my struggle with my understanding of my childhood and Vicky..
There’s a lot of it in a bunch of sketches recorded at http://www.sheer.us/stuff/Vicky/. This is only a small part of a very large story, and I hpoe to record many more songs about it as I work through it.
I’m afraid to listen right now but someday I probably should.
One thing that led to a lot of crying and a lot of .. release.. was reading what the first step of grief is. Suddenly I had a much better understanding of where I’ve been, sort of.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617
—-
I’ve had numerous discussions – via a mental effort I can’t explain – with someone who says she is – and who I believe to be – Vicky from the future, where we all know a lot more about what’s going on, where we are, and why we are what we are. I especially hope I can capture some of the message in music, because it is amazingly helpful stuff. If it’s true.. then this present darkness is not something that will be with humanity forever. There are countless songs in my music collection that reinforce the same message I got from her and others via this network that I can’t see, but which is always with me.
January 3rd, 2015 at 2:56 am
As for why I think it’s really her
1) She knows things I don’t. Big and important things, and as I learn them I become more alive and more free
2) She sounds “Vickyish”. I can compare her style with the emails we traded before everything went wahoonie-shaped and my face-time memories of her, and they fit
3) I’m a lot happier thinking I didn’t totally lose my friend, just the oppertunity to be here-and-now with her.