This is a public apology to Ant. I have access to all my memories of our time together now, and I understand that there was never anything nonconsentual about what happened. I’m sorry that I was so confused, and so sick. I hope you can forgive me.
Basically, I’m practicing. I’m warming up my songwriting, keyboarding, and multitrack skills because I hope soon that my friend Jessica will be joining me for a album-length recording project. As you’ve all noticed, I’m something of lacking in vocal skills – I’ve come a long way, but the experience recording TCP blues and Sex reminded my how very far I still have to go, especially in the rhythm and timing areas. So, I write – or discover – the music, and let others handle the vocals. (I’ll probably do some backing vocals, though).
In the meantime, I hve a serious backlog of songs to be written:
Changes (about overcoming inertia and making major changes in life)
I remember the future (about remembering a better world)
Time to walk away (About ending a relationship)
I love about you (About someone special’s good qualities)
of all the songs I’ve done so far, this is the one I have the most doubt about posting.
The vocals are still lacking a *lot*. I really need someone with more skillz than I have to sing it. And I think the B section might lose the average listener.
Originally, I thought maybe this would go on the album, but on reflection, I’m pretty sure it won’t. So, I’m still writing and recording songs for practice (and to get messages across to people)
That said, here’s Sex: Sex. It’s NSFW.
My body is pulsing in time with yours
As one, our heartbeats are the same
My sweat pouring over you
Pleasure spiking through our brains
I taste your salt, your sweatness, your flow
You hear my whisper, ‘yes, please, oooh..’
I feel your body flexing against mine
Feel the warmth of your sweet, sweet wine
(chorus)
Light me up and take me on
Bring me over the break of dawn
My breath ragged, your voice sings
Your touch is not a little thing
Make me hot and make me wet (wet)
Light me up and I won’t forget (it)
Become one with me in the night (oh lover)
Light me up with your inner light
I feel you getting closer to the edge
Your breath ragged as I take you over the ledge
Together we climb the hill of forever
And spin out a web of unceasing pleasure
hands on breasts, I feel your nipples rise
Even in the dark I see your glowing blue eyes
I hear your heartbeat and your song of pleasure
Moments to treasure, letting go never
Light me up and start to sing
Pleasure me with every single thing
My breath ragged, your body in mine
Your every move dancing in my mind
Make me hot and make me wet (wet)
Light me up, I won’t forget (love)
Your love for me in candle light
Light me up with your second sight
Come dance with me in the dark of the night
We’ll come together and bring on the light
Come join bodies with me to form a naked flame
Never our love to be alone again
Come dance with me in the heat of day
We’ll cast shadows with our passion play
Pet and caress and loving each other
Come here my love, let me give you another
Well I came in this morning and I heard the news
It seems some hacker had something to prove
The system monitor showed all sites black
I guess the server is under attack
Well you all know the truth
I got the TCP blues
Send me a SYN I’ll send you an ACK
Gotta retransmit, slide that window back
ICMP don’t give me no ping
Listen to the fans on that router sing
You all know the truth
I got the TCP blues
Service packs I installed every one
Got a email from redmond and another from sun
buffer overflow, DDOS
Guess this system didn’t pass the test
Black hat you know the truth
I got the TCP blues
Seems our firewall had a major flaw
Open wireless behind it and you know it’s the law
Someone did some wardriving
The sins of youth
You all know the truth
I got the TCP blues
Packet loss, I can’t find the cause
Our ISP says our network has flaws
CCNE’s got manuals I haven’t got to yet
This whole damn network’s got to go to the vet
You all know the truth I got the TCP blues
Every single protocol every single port
Connection failure or connection abort
My default gateway’s somewhere, but it ain’t heard the news
You all know the truth I got the TCP blues
Our web site’s got no index, it’s giving 404
Our boss just heard the news and I know the score
If things don’t get better I’m gonna have to go
Get myself a ticket to mexico
You all know the truth
I got the TCP blues
Someone get me out of here, blue screen of death
On some systems it’s green, on some a dump got left
I got errors microsoft hasn’t got to yet
Someone tell me what registry key to set
You all know the truth
I got the TCP blues
The RAID array’s gone south, Iron Mountain lost the backup tapes
This is turning into one of those really bad scrapes
Someone somewhere said I should hit the 80 proof
There’s gotta be an anticdote
To the TCP blues
Well someone go into the server room and hit the EPO
We’ll sit there in the silence and just enjoy the show
It’s gotta happen sometime, I got nothing left to prove
It’s a proven cure
to the TCP blues
Shut the power off
Call carnival
Go on a cruise
This gets better and better. My departure is now delayed by.. are you all ready for this? – the fact that my license was suspended for announcing a intention to rollerblade to Seattle.
Yes, okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I was in kind of a bad place emotionally that day – which happened a few months ago – but suspending my license? That’s just petty. I’d be mad, but I have this funny feeling it’s actually a setup for some kind of awesomeness that’s coming my way, because otherwise it’s just too bizarre for words. I have a appointment to take the driver’s test – on May 28th – after which they will reinstate it. You know, if I were a average guy ,as opposed to a work-at-home type, this could well lead to me being homeless through not having a job through not being able to get to work.
Again, though, with the awesomeness. So, I wrote a couple of songs – the first one is still awaiting some tracks, but here’s the second one – a love song, no less: I never thought
I’ve never felt so on top of my game creatively. Me and James had a jam session that couldn’t be beat – we went for like four hours, we did songs I’ve never even dreamed of doing before – and quite a few that I’ve thought were beyond my reach.
Hi out there in blogland. So, my departure from SoCal is delayed by the inavailability of trailer hitches for the Eurovan – likely it will be Monday or even later before I can get the hitch put on.
However, towing the system rather than having it in the cabin means I have *lots* of seats up for grabs. Anyone want to join a adventure?
In other news, while there’s still way too much stuff to dispose of, I got rid of a *lot* – including my entire collection of computers except for the ones I’m actively using. [You know you might have a problem when you have enough computers that you could throw a LAN party without anyone having to bring their system..]
I feel the most healthy I have in .. I don’t know. Ten years? I’m going to FVSC this Sunday for adult night, and would love to see some of you there! One again, the rink page is at http://www.fountainvalleyskatingcenter.com/
so, after a period of darkness, www.sheer.us is back on the net. I know you all missed me sooo much 😉