Never been one to let the carrier drop

Okay, so I agreed to come and be wooed by a potential employer in SoCal, and they put me up at the Radisson in Newport Beach, for a price that I won’t quote because it’s too horrific. This hotel seems to be very good at looking ostentatious, but has some serious problems with the details of being a good hotel.

My first complaint: All hotels which cost more than $120 a night shalt have fluffy towels. Their towels remind me of motel 6 towels – entirely too thin and small to dry off a entire person with.

My second complaint: despite the fact that I was clearly assigned a king size bed, they originally tried to pawn off two very small queens on me.

My third complaint: The laundry vending machines that sell dryer sheets and whatnot are mislabeled, making actually buying the correct laundry product difficult. The staff are very hesitent to refund money and mostly claim that this inadequacy is ‘somebody else’s problem’.

My fourth complaint: (and I admit, this may be petty) Room service closes at 10:30. Calling at 10:28 by the cell network, which I think gets time from the atomic clock, will result in them telling you they are closed.

My fifth complaint: There are no snack machines.

My sixth complaint: There is one microwave in the entire hotel.

My seventh complaint: None of the hotel entrances have access card readers, and they’re all locked at night, allowing access only through the front entrance.

My eighth complaint: Only a very few rooms have refrigerators, and no minibars either. 😉

My ninth complaint: The TVs are really small.

My tenth complaint: The hotel keys have ‘sleep number bed’ proudly emblazoned on them, but neither of the rooms we were in actually had sleep number beds.

My eleventh complaint: The wifi must be renewed every day, and for all I know they’re tracking my MAC address – certainly they ask for my name every day. They threaten to charge in the lobby, with placards such as ‘applicable charges may apply’

My twelfth complaint: The tubs are tiny – they’re not deep enough to immerse my head in, and they’re not long enough to stretch out in, and in general they’re just too small in all ways.

Aren’t you glad you have me on your friends list? Didn’t you really need to know all this?

Okay, sorry..
S.

In another hour, I’ll be 30. Actually, as Kayti points out, where I was born, I’m already 30. I’m not sure how I feel about this – I keep waiting to suddenly turn republican, but so far it hasn’t happened. I’m not sure what I have turned instead..

Depressed.