Never been one to let the carrier drop

*) Call geico, get them to send proof of insurance for Sep 15
*) Finish keyword updates to evparts
*) Do order form upgrades to evparts
*) Find Joe’s paperwork
*) Call colo facility, fax them my paperwork and Joe’s
*) Call dynamic, explain what the holdup is on my IP addr shift, do
IP addr shift for reachmenow
*) Do DNS shift for brenda
*) Update qm to have a browse function
*) Charge scooter
*) Finish NTP install on scott’s servers
*) Install apache/resin on scott’s servers

since everyone else is doing the ‘random facts about me’ section, I thought I’d try and make up my own

*) I was born in Heidelburg, Germany, and grew up on the east coast, in New York and Northern Virginia
*) My favorite places in the world are southern California and Athens, Greece
*) My least favorite place in the world is nothern Virginia
*) I hold a deeper-than-logic conviction that I am not worthwhile. However, I still try to sell myself to the world. This leads to interesting and sometimes amusing contridictions
*) I spend a lot of my time meeting new people online. I have very few RL friends. It’s possible and even likely that I’m not good at meeting people RL – after all, my best conversation starter at a club recently was (to a guy wearing a Atari shirt) ‘8 bit computers rule’. He looked at me *very* strangely.
*) I play three instruments, and attempt to write music, and design and build electric vehicle subsystems.
*) Once I read most of the children’s section of a library in a summer
*) My favorite trance DJ is Paul Van Dyk
*) I have a tendancy to start projects before I’m finished with other ones, but I usually do finish what I start, eventually. Sometimes it can take several years, however.
*) I have been on 4 antidepressents, 2 anti-psychotics, and 1 ADD-‘fixer’ in my life. None of them had effects I liked.
*) My drug of choice is marajuana. I beleive strongly that it should be legalized, but am not exactly sure how it is spelled.
*) In general, my spelling is abysmal
*) I’ve hurt too many people. This is not intentional, and bothers me greatly.
*) I hate losing people, and ask almost everyone who I care about a lot to remember me.
*) I wish I was not human quite often

I probably should take another stab at that list when I’m not quite so depressed, methinks.

S.

How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Strangely, I don’t feel balanced. I don’t know what I feel. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, going anywhere, doing anything, or indeed living.

I’ll get over it.

S.

For months, Greg E. and others have been telling me about the wonders of ‘trillian’, the multi-network IM client. I’ve steadfastly resisted using it, for no apparently good reason..

However, ICQ has been getting buggier and buggier. For a long time, I’ve had to close incoming messages as soon as they come in because if too many of them popped up at once, it’d take ICQ down with it. And more recently, the ‘uh-oh’ has developed a tendancy to do something strange to my sound driver, leaving me without sound. [Just a touch annoying]. Then there’s this whole click on a URL and watch every explorer window on the system crash, one at a time thing..

So finally, after a particularly hairy kaboom [that took about a hour’s work with it] I decided to take the plunge, and installed Trillian.

Wow. Software that works. Not only is trillian more visually appealing, it doesn’t seem to have any tendancy to crash my computer in any way. I can click on links with no fear, leave ten chat windows open, and it hasn’t bollxied up my sound card once.

Cool stuff.

I apologize for my lack of journal entries. I’ll try and be better in the future. 😉

I also apologize for the lack of quality in my last journal entry. Here’s my list of excuses:

1) I’m sick
2) I haven’t written a journal entry for so long I’ve forgotten how
3) I’m very upset by current world events
4) I’ve lost all my brain cells
5) I suck

S.

Look, I know I have a tendancy to oversimplify things. But it seems to me that it’s not particularly difficult to determine if a action has at it’s root peace or war, love or hate, unity or disunity, respect or disrespect.

I say this because one of my basic, core beleifs is that peace and love are desirable attributes, not just as long term goals but as short-term, day to day goals. I realize that I don’t always achive forwarding these goals (Sorry, lux) but I do make a effort.

There are people out there – a suprisingly large number of them – who seem disinterested in peace and love. Some just on a personal level, and some on a national-politik level. These are the people who lovingly caress their guns, looking forward to the day that they can again stand up and pull the trigger. These are the people who start flamewars on mailing lists, just because they can.

What I don’t get, and I know I’m oversimplifying this, is what motivates these people?

Some people get personal satisfaction out of war, I know, in the same way that I get personal satisfaction out of strategy games. It’s bigger and more fun if it’s real, they say..

Some people delude themselves into thinking that every war is about ‘national security’. Some of the ways they do this are downright creative.

And, some people just get off on hate.

I just don’t get why.

Could someone please explain this to me? Explain wanting to direct your anger towards another person, so I can truly get it? I joke about axing dubya, but I could never pull the trigger and all my friends know it. I can’t actually make myself feel the emotions that would lead to the death of another person.

I wonder if that’s part of army training. ‘You’ve got to be carefully taught’, as the song goes. Can you teach people to hate? I bet you can.