Never been one to let the carrier drop

i sit two stories above the street
it’s awful quiet here since love fell asleep
there’s life down below me though
the kids are walking home from school

some long ago when we were taught
that for whatever kind of puzzle you got
you just stick the right formula in
a solution for every fool

i remember the time when i came so close to you
sent me skipping my class and running from school
and i bought you that ring cause i never was cool
what makes me think i could start clean slated
the hardest to learn was the least complicated

so i just sit up in the house and resist
and not be seen until i cease to exist
a kind of conscientious objection
a kind of dodging the draft

the boy and girl are holding hands on the street
and i don’t want to but i think you just wait
it’s more than just eye to eye
learn the things i could never apply

i remember the time when i came so close with you
i let everything go it seemed the only truth
and i bought you that ring, it seemed the thing to do

what makes me think i could start clean slated
the hardest to learn was the least complicated
so what makes me think i could start clean slated
the hardest to learn was the least complicated

i’m just a mirror of a mirror myself
all the things that i do
and the next time i fall i’m gonna have to recall
it’s isn’t love it’s only something new

i sit two stories above the street
it’s awful quiet here since love fell asleep
there’s life down below me though
the kids are walking home from school

i’m remember the time when i came so close with you
sent me skipping my class and running from school
and i bought you that ring cause i never was cool

what makes me think i could start clean slated
the hardest to learn was the least complicated
so what makes me think i could start clean slated
the hardest to learn was the least complicated
the least complicated
the least complicated

One of the oddest things is to click ‘send’ on a email that you know has the potential of turning into a disaster.

The problem is, mails, once sent, are gone.. they’re at the other end.. there’s nothing you can do. And yet, there’s this urge, get the mail sent while you still have your nerve, that kind of thing.

I’m back in Seattle. I appear to have made it intact. Sunday night I went to Deep with Brenda [It’s always striking me as funny.. Deep plays very christian-oriented house, but somehow I can easily ignore this fact and just ride the vibe – but when I go into a christian church, I can’t help but feel anger about every fifth word. And I don’t want to, particularly.. I don’t want to hate christianity, or christians.. I’m delighted if it helps you get closer to PLUR – it’s just not my cup of chai. I think I have Issues.]

Anyway, sunday night was fun.. spent way too long talkin’ politics and conspiricies with Brenda and James afterwords, but hey, what’s a mini-vaca for?

Monday, woke up around 3 (!) and cruised back down to Brendas for some hackifying on her web site – finally got the streams and playlist management up! Yay, only a year and a half after we start, we actually finish! 😉 Anyway, she seemed happy.

Hung with James and went to King Taco, which was mucho tasty.. (anyone know any good Mexican places in Seattle? because so far, I’ve come up pretty short.. )

Went to catch my flight home, and when I was checking in, tried pushing the ‘Upgrade to 1st class’ button. And, darned if it didn’t print me out a first class ticket, free… I could learn to like this whole frequent flyer thing. Which means I had enough room to actually mousify, so I wrote a track in Reason. If there’s any interest, I might post it.. it’s most definately housy trance, or trance-y house or something.

Spent four hours fighting with the parking meters. They won.

Need to clean my living room something feirce. I’m having trouble finding places to put boxes, even.

Tomorrow I might be hangin’ out with Patti! Maybe we’ll get to record either some spoken word stuff or Hazy Shade of Winter. Links will of course be forthcoming if anything cool does get committed to tape.

I’ve also met another person who I might be able to lure into recording – we’ll see. So far no answer to emails suggesting same, but we’ll see. I guess I should also email squirrel-girl and see if she’s up for some recording..

Practice makes perfect in all things, including munging audio. Or so I keep telling myself.

In other thoughts…

Recently, posted a journal entry which sounded awfully familiar, and it got me to thinking about hawks and doves, PLUR and WHDD, and other similar opposites.

Why do some people enjoy seeing other people made unhappy? I flash back to my high school years, and the number of people who took pleasure in making me miserable.. discussions with and his significant-other-kinda tell me I was not alone in this at all.

If anyone might know the answer that I know / am friends with, it might be Alex. He’s got some tendancies to enjoy seeing other people made unhappy. Must remember to ask him the next time we talk..

I’m afraid though that it will be one of those conversations that is like ‘Why?’ ‘Because..’ ‘Why?’ ‘It just is..’

I have many more thoughts on this matter, but I just interrupted this post with a WSHR broadcast and now I’m rather tired (since it’s 6 am ;-)) and am going to go to bed.

So, I’m in SoCal, as my previous posts would indicate. I’ve been a bit too busy to post/log in/whatever, although I have been reading to (and occasionally even responding to) email.

First, thanks to for procuring tickets, providing transport, and other host-like services – he’s done admirably.

Second: The show.

Well, it most definately rocked.. it was more like a traditional concert than a music festival, although it did have food and drinks and things of that nature. It was at Glen Helen – which, the last time I was at, people threatened to knife me for dancing, so I have to admit I was somewhat leery. However, no similar events happened this time..

Started out by catching Flock Of Seagulls just in time for ‘I Ran’.. which was pretty cool, although I can’t say i’d go horribly out of my way to see a flock of seagulls concert. Then after that, saw a number of mainstage acts that I either didn’t know, or didn’t care that much about (including a really, really awful performance by Stone Roses.. at the end, they ended up turning him off before his set was up because he was that bad.. and yes, he really was that bad.. I think he was about a half step out for most of the singing.. )

Then, Tears For Fears! I can’t say enough about how excellent this show was.. they did almost all my favorites, although I was a little dissapointed that they didn’t do ‘Break It Down Again’. But we did get ‘Shout’, ‘Everybody wants to rule the world’, ‘Mad World’, ‘Seeds of Love’.. you know, all the greats. Seeds of Love seems more timely now than it did when it was written..

Anyway, they were in top form, and it was really great. Then Devo came up – I’m not a huge Devo fan, mostly because I’m a little too young – but they definately rocked the place, and I enjoyed their set. And the beehive hats are cute..

After Devo, some Scottish band I’d never heard of, who were okay but not stunning.. and then.. Billy Idol! Okay, you can all laugh all you want, but I’ve always loved Billy Idol’s work – especially the work of his guitarist, who can do a extended jam that will knock your socks off. And they were in top form last night, with Billy’s ego interfering with LAX’s flight path and him playing the crowd.. they played most of my favorites, including Flesh for Fantasy, White Wedding (although they really could have run that one out a little longer ;-)), Moni (wahtever that song’s called, you know the one I’m referring to ;-)), as well as a few lesser known songs. Wish they’d done Rock The Cradle, but aside from that, they hit all the big ones.

Then it was Susie of Susie and the Banshees fame, who was doing kind of a Mickey Hart with female vocals kind of act. We headed out early to beat the traffic, and hit up CalTech’s donuttary, which was really, really tasty. (I think they win the new prize for best donuts I’ve ever had. I’m not normally a huge donut fan, but as with all things, true quality is always appriciated). Then we hit up some eatery in Long Beach (I think, I wasn’t doing a great job of keeping track at this point) where me and DM’s non-SO got into a long debate about spousal support, jealousy and its worthiness as a human trait, and other assorted subjects. Then I came back to DM’s, and slept for about 14 hours, woke up, and checked out Farenheit 9/11…

I’d not seen it before, mostly because I haven’t had anyone to go with and I hate watching movies by myself. It was really good, although I fear the problem is that MM is certainly preaching to the choir, because no one who doesn’t already know what’s going on and agree with him is likely to see the movie. I thought about trying to set up a ‘idea exchange’ with some of my republican friends.. I’ll read your Limbaugh or Buchanen if you read my Moore or Bradley..)

I don’t understand how these people can be so convinced they are right in the face of such overwhelming evidence. Of course, all may become clear in time.

Tonight it looks like I might be hanging out with Cal.. waiting for DM to take a shower right now..

to all of you, wherever you might happen to be. Hope your weekends have been as good as mine.

I’m now in LA.

Any of you who also are in LA and who would like to hang out, call me on my cell. The number, for those of you not in the know, is 949 357 5701

I’m very tired. I woke up in the middle of the day, and then couldn’t get back to sleep because of the phantom woodpeckers.. (they’re doing construction a couple of houses over. I really wish they’d stop..)

It was cold and rainy when I left Seattle. It seems to be warm and clear here. Probably would be sunny if the sun was out.

I’m sooo tired..

I just get progressively more cheerful as the night wears on

So now I have my own mystery bug to attend to. Can’t write to dataflash once full multi-tasking comes up. Used to be able to. Related to my other problem? Ponder ponder..

This seems to be a bad computer week for me. Like, some weeks whatever I touch works, and other weeks whatever I touch breaks. 😉 Code that was working a few weeks ago has mysteriously stopped, in very odd ways.

I wish that I could live a life less ruled by extremes sometimes.

It’s also very cold, and I refuse to turn on the (oil burning) heat. So I will have to invest in my heat pump soon. In the meantime, I shiver.

I encourage you all to check out the OkCupid politics quiz. It’s pretty nifty.

I’m apparently right on the line between democrat and socialist, which sounds about right. It is scary to note that the okcupid community has almost as many people voting for Bush as Kerry.. And, one would hope that this would be a reletively young and informed demographic, which would make one think that there’d be more Kerry supporters in there. (not that Kerry is exactly that great a guy either.. a friend of mine the other night was wearing a button that summed up my feelings pretty well: ‘Bush and Kerry both make me want to Ralph’. Not that I will, because WA is a swing state and I very, very badly want Bush to be just a bad 4-year footnote in the annuls of history.

Or, as another friend of mine observed, ask not what your country can do for you, ask how embarrassed you’re going to be about it..

I’ve now discovered another activity that I can do to help me get over my stage fright (which, thankfully, is getting much better – anyone remember a year ago, at EMP, how scared I was? ;-))

Karaoke.

Surprisingly frightening.. worse than doing keys, because it’s something I’m not by any stretch of the imagination good at – but yet, it seems to be permissable to be bad at it. And it’s entertaining in any case.

Tonight I met a new friend [I don’t know if it’s something about Seattle, or something about me – but lately, I’ve been finding friends all over! Ravers, geeks, hippies, good people all. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Seattle?] and went out, sang ‘Everybody hurts’ (which I massacred somewhat, but only somewhat) in a smoky karaoke bar. I wonder if the iSchool people will ever have a iSing night.. heh heh…

It was, as Alex is wont to say, a fun time.

Tomorrow night I fly to SoCal to see Tears For Fears and Billy Idol. I’m excited, a bit, yes..

Work problems are all over the place lately.. I find myself torn – because I’d like to keep getting the money for the parking meter project, but at the same time, I’m soooo tired of parking meters, and so over parking meters.. I need to find a new job. I really do. I don’t love what I do any more.. I’m not even sure I like it very much. I don’t believe that what I’m doing is for the good of mankind – I’m starting to think it’s rather the opposite.

Maybe I should call up Craig and see how serious he was about that job at a video game company – at least that’s work I could be proud of.

And of course there’s still that part of me that dreams of the band taking off and making enough money to pay for my existence. Realistically, though, I know that generally just doesn’t happen.

Okay, so, you all know the drill. It’s audiance participation time in the comments

1) And the destination’s clear: Anywhere but here

2) When we’re free to love anyone we choose – when this world’s big enough for all different views – when we all can worship, from our own kind of pews.. we shall be free

3) There were future power people throwing love to the loveless – shining a light because they wanted it seen

4) We were so in phase / In our dance hall days / We were cool on craze / When I, you, and everyone we knew /
Could believe, do, and share in what was true

5) Remember how they taught you, how much of it was fear? Refuse to hand it down – the legacy stops here.

6) Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind..

7) If you want, then start to laugh / If you must, then start to cry / Be yourself don’t hide /Just believe in destiny. / Don’t care what people say / Just follow your own way / Don’t give up and use the chance / To return to innocence

8) Right here, Right Now / There is no other place I want to be / Right Here Right Now / watching the world wake up from history

9) I may not know a thing about you. You don’t know a thing about me. May not know a thing about you – but if we really see, we’re alive..

10) So I thought about her as I sang that night, and how the circle keeps rolling around – how I act when I’m facing the footlights, and how she’s flying with both feet on the ground.

Bonus Track: [by same artist as #10]:

11) “And as he stands there saying ‘We’re just two of a kind’ / It hits me like a thunderbolt exploding in my mind / As I look into his leering, aged, wrinkly mirror of my own face / He laughs and says ‘Of course dear son – where do you think you came from in the first place?”